After the crucifixion, and Judas betrayal, the disciples had to appoint a replacement. Peter who I'm sure knew his Bible had read the Psalms many times having never imagined that he himself and the others had been spoken of right there in Psalm 109:8 when it says "Let his days be few and let another take his office" referring to Judas Iscariot. What an unspeakable revelation to recognize this personal mandate recorded so many centuries before the event unfolded! But that was three years after meeting Jesus.
Upon meeting the Lord and becoming one of His disciples, Peter believed he would be the most faithful to Jesus as he walked with him through three years of ministry. He was a fully devoted disciple...or so he thought. But when Jesus was arrested, Peter would not be caught with Him or even knowing Him. Fear took over! A fear he did not know was in him! He thought they had it made...that Jesus being the Son of God would take the government on earth..in Israel, and that the disciples would be at His side. Eternity doesn't seem to have crossed his mind. He was delusional as were the rest. He forgot that humans only live so long; they thought they would rule with Jesus and then die and go sleep with their fathers. HA! They thought small...did not see the HUGE picture...the eternal plan that was in Peter's Friend! Jesus knew the disciples were delusional; that they had their own ideas of why He was with them and they with Him. Yet he 'suffered' them. After denying Jesus something arose in Peter. I believe it was one of the purest things we can feel; remorse of losing a friend we love; not through death but through betrayal.
Whether Jesus was the Son of God or simply someone who had been a true friend to Peter, Peter had pledged his heart and life to this Friend and let Him down. But even as he had let Jesus down he also felt let down by Jesus. The whole plan to reign with his Friend was shattered and Peter ran not only from his professed alliance but his faulty dream. He was grieving a great Friend and a lost destiny.
Yet something was still alive; He discovered that he still loved Jesus and his conscience was eating away at him. The closest he could get to Jesus now that He was dead was to join the other disciples and grieve with them. He was sustained and encouraged through fellowship but I'm sure feeling most unworthy. Peter, who had been taken out of his simple life in a moment and set down outside of his own expected timeline most unexpectedly. Peter who was written into the story that unbeknownst to him was to fill the world with it's wonder, was now no longer delusional about the Man that he had touted for three years. Oh, no.The Man was dead and Peter's dream was over. No going back. And yet a great wonder was taking place behind the scenes of his world, in the depths of hell! His friend ( not worried about what Peter thought of Him at the moment) was making an open show of satan and his minions. He was saving Peters soul! The true plan was being birthed! Peter and the others did not have a plan B or any grid for it. Little did they know that plan A was still intact. No, all they knew was that they had each other and clung to what only they together had known and loved; the memory of an amazing Friend. It made them a family of sorts and yet they knew that they would have to go back to who and what they had been before the great and terrible adventure. Or so they thought, for it had only just begun!
I believe that we humans are mostly delusional. It's an insult I know, but what is revelation for if we aren't? Maybe I should rather say false perceptions are what we are born into. Either way, it is the work of the Holy Spirit Who leads us into all truth; to chip away at what we think and replace it with what He knows to be true. This plight mostly comes from who we believe ourselves to be and how we want things to be; our dreams. The problem with this is that we do not really know who we are as God's children. We believe in our own strengths or lack of and our dreams fit only into this short sighted perception. His dreams for us will not fit into such a framework! Our dreams have hidden agendas, unspoken motives and self-made decor and we base them on what we think of ourselves rather than what God knows about us. He must expand us. When the Holy Spirit expands us through revelation knowledge, is it not like Peter? The eternal cannot fit into our finite thinking! Savor the rich voice of the Lord when He visited His weighty prayer upon the ignorant. "Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy Name. THY kingdom come. THY will be done on earth AS IT IS IN HEAVEN. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation (Aramaic: Do not allow us to enter wrongful thinking or testing), for Thine is the Kingdom, the power and the glory FOREVER and EVER. Amen"!!! (Matthew 6:9-13) Whatever I had in mind...well, I like this better. It is God's will God's way and it is ETERNAL. His plan for our lives has eternity in it. It will go further, spread wider and punch through the time warp right into forever!
Meanwhile, back at the Sea of Galilee, Peter had succumbed to a fisherman's' life once again. How perfect for Jesus to come and redeem His friend while fishing in the waters he found Him in 3 years before when they first met. By then Peter knew that Jesus was alive but Peter was still living with his own betrayal. Three; unity, completion and conformity. It is just about to slowly dawn on Peter that he has been saved, sanctified and set apart by a true Living Miracle; the Friend he Betrayed. Three times Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him. And there he joined eternity by his profession of love for Jesus. He was a new creation. I see him sitting there before his Master with such wondrous love in his eyes for the One he....well sort of took for granted on the other side of that cross.
I think this is all the Lord has me to say about Peter right now. But my hope is that the reader will begin to take a fresh look at his/her own expectations and decide with the help of the Holy Spirit whether they are the small version or the plans that are eternal. The plans that couldn't squeeze into our finite thinking if we pounded them the like yeasty dough into a match box all day long! There is a destiny inside each one of us and we must be willing to lay down what we have in mind or pull out what is stuck in our hearts so that the true plan can begin to unfold. I don't make light of your dreams but what if His are so much more wonderful and far reaching? Or what if you know what you are destined to do and it is you hearts desire but you are setting out to do it your way? How stubborn we can be! How many times have we "failed" at our attempt to push a "dream" through and silently blame God when it does not materialize and we have lost our investment of time, energy, emotion, possibly a friend and usually even money? I think that might be the first hint that it was not His dream for us.
There is so much scripture that is key to this dilemma. Oh, how many times are we told to rest in Him, to let Him go before us and make the path straight; to wait upon the Lord, to place all of our hopes and dreams into His hands and let HIM form, shape or reshape and give us back a much better dream that He can actually go to work on without our interference? Is it so hard for us not to make a plan? (Proverbs 3:5-6)"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not unto your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path". It's such a clear instruction and yet few believers ever really do it.
I don't know about you but I am tired of seeing my dreams of the future being rolled up like astroturf in my front yard and tossed out. It is time to come into the present where the Living God dwells and know that He will take me where He wants to if I will stop making my own plans.I used to wonder why God would allow me to fail. After all, it is HIS Name that is at stake here, right? The problem was I was making decisions without Him. As a good Father, he is not going to reward disobedience. His ways are not our ways and He does not owe it to me to make me "look good" nor does He need me to make Him "look good". He is steadfast and unmoveable in all of His ways and does not change, nor can we make Him change to fit into our plans and ideals. While Peter was looking around in a stupor wondering what had just happened, Jesus was executing His plan to bring His friend all of the way through into glory. And just so, He is doing the same for our stories in this life; always working behind the scenes. He is always the Victor, but we can make it easy or we can make it hard!
I leave you with two prayers: Heavenly Father, I pray that the eyes of our heart may be enlightened in order that we may know the hope to which he has called us, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people. I Jesus' Mighty Name, Amen! Ephesians 1:18-19
The prayer of Jabez: "Oh, Father, that you would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would keep me from evil. that I may not cause pain! In Jesus' Mighty Name, Amen! 1 Chronicles 4:9-10 Be willing to lay down what you see and take up what HE SEES!
